Awkward. Straight Awkward.

Awkward.

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The word itself is literally fucking awkward…it happens to everyone once or twice.

It actually could go really wrong or you can make the best of the situation. I personally have this happen all the time because I am so weird, awkward things happen to follow me everywhere that I go. I could start off with spilling my jack and diet all over a guys white v neck or that one time I was drunk on a first date and the straw got stuck in my hair…oh wait, that happens all the time.

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These things tend to happen more often than less so lets get serious here…I went on a third date recently which turned into an all nighter type situation.

Dinner and drinks were amazing…shocking to hear that I know and then he asked me if I wanted to go to a little get together at his friends place. Hmmm what you actually mean is let me take you to my friends house, get you drunk, and then take you home and fuck you. But you know me…I said yes, obviously…who isn’t up for a little fun.

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Well, we get there and everyone is really cool, he is all over me but sometimes you can sense a little awkwardness. Shocker….there is some psycho looking chick in the corner basically staring at us. So do you take out your boxing gloves and ask the bitch what her fucking problem is…because that could make things reallyyyyy fucking weird.

Maybe you just sit there and let her stare at you while this guy is kissing you up and down…in the moment I was like ok, you little whore you take your damn eyes off of me and this sexy ass man with his hands all over me or I am going to go Mike Tyson on your bitch ass. And then I told myself to calm the fuck down…look where his hands are, mhmm that’s right…almost in my uhmmm time to stop drinking. Problem solved…awkwardness, not really.

So what do you do? Ask him?

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Coming from the girl whose middle name is awkward…I say no. The only thing your going to do is make the situation worse and this guy will most likely not ever ask you out again. Truth is, he most likely fucked that girl or dated her and didn’t expect her to be there…and he knows that she is creeping. Good news is that he brought you and if you don’t say anything he is most likely going to notice and like you even more for it.

So ladies…when running into serious awkwardness like this, keep your fucking trap shut if you want that dick to stay around. There is nothing more weird and uncomfortable than to confront someone on a past situation if you have no right to be questioning. However, there is more awkward things like…burping on a first date, or mother nature slapping you in the face and turning your first sex experience with your favorite guy into a murder scene on his white sheets.

I pray that that never happens to anyone…dear lord, why must you curse us.

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I’ll stick with straws in my hair…since I am a professional at that.

What can I say…men love that, right? 😉

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Love,
Your favorite LA secret. Xoxo 😉

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